Uncensored: on women’s bodies, eating disorders, and social media

In the Women’s Month, let’s take a moment to unearth an often swept under the rug discussion about a mental illness that is affecting millions of women all over the world¹. A mental illness that, unfortunately, isn’t high on the agenda of the institutions that can make a difference. A mental illness that is on the rise² and has the second highest mortality rate worldwide³: eating disorders.

Did you know that in Europe alone 20 million people, predominantly women, suffer from eating disorders⁴? Social media can increase body image dissatisfaction and our drive for thinness and this is a powerful risk factor that makes us vulnerable to eating disorders⁵. Influencing social media platforms and publications at large is beyond our control. Yet, the change can start with us.

Striving for the “perfect body” in the media

Born and raised in Bulgaria, I grew up in a strict patriarchal society where women were—and still are—valued for being beautiful and desirable for men, a kind of decoration and entertainment in men’s lives, in addition to being good housewives and caregivers.

Bombarded by images of “perfect” women in the media, I was secretly dreaming of looking like them. Slender bodies, smooth skin devoid of acne and spots, flat bellies, large breasts, not a single sign of cellulite or stretch marks: these women were in movies, TV shows and ads, magazines, billboards, and social media.

What’s worse, if a woman—either on the street or on TV—didn’t fit this body standard, she would become an addressee of vocal remarks about what was wrong with her looks. Mass media was screaming in silence: “These are the beauty standards, fit in or be cast out.”

Being the rigid perfectionist I used to be, I thought: “If all these women can look so perfect, why shouldn’t I be able to attain this ideal body too?”.

I was on harsh diets on and off throughout the years including skipping meals on purpose and drinking only water and coffee to lose weight, which lead to different health issues in the past. I used to feel guilty every time I ate chocolate or anything unhealthy. I was scared to respect my hunger feeling because I didn’t want to gain weight, so I just didn’t eat.

I was too young to acknowledge that attractiveness is independent of the unrealistic standards set by media.

I was too insecure to understand that I should focus on being myself instead of striving for unattainable ideals.

I was too anxious to let go of all preconceptions about what my body should look like.

Fortunately, through the practice of yoga and mindfulness over the years I have learned to accept my body without judgement, to appreciate it, and to nurture a deep loving relationship with it. Nowadays, I don’t go to extremes to look in a certain way and I embrace my body as the sacred temple it is.

Wouldn’t it be liberating if women replaced the whips of body neglect, harsh expectations, and suppression of their inner needs with acceptance, care, and love?

I believe any woman can do it. The key is to realize that what you see on social media (and in the media as a whole) is fake, that “perfect” doesn’t exist, and that your body is your sacred temple waiting for your attention, care, and love.

Unraveling the link between eating disorders and social media

There are many factors that are influential in body image dissatisfaction and eating-disordered behavior “including neuroticism, self-esteem, perfectionism, body surveillance, and having a family member with an eating disorder⁶.^“ Still, according to Jinxi Caddel’s research, there is a significant correlation between body dissatisfaction and the unrealistic images of body shape, size, and beauty you repeatedly see⁷.

What’s more, studies have found that the more you use social media platforms, such as Instagram and Facebook, the higher the risk of body dissatisfaction, negative or altered body image, and disordered eating⁸.

What happens is that you internalize the body ideal you see: by yearning to attain the body ideal you create a substantial inconsistency between what you think you look like and what you long to look like⁹.

The more unrealistic images of body shape, size, and beauty you see for a prolonged time period, the more discontent you will be with your body¹⁰.

It is this type of discontent that is a powerful risk factor for eating-disordered behavior.

According to multiple studies¹¹, of particular concern is the impact of thinspiration and fitspiration imagery. Communicating body image ideals that aren’t attainable or reasonable for most women significantly decreases their body image satisfaction and can lead to dangerous weight-controlled behavior and symptoms of eating disorders¹².

Upward social comparison

On what do you usually base your judgements about yourself and, in particular, about your body? How do you conclude that you have too wide hips, too much cellulite, and not the right breast size?

We constantly compare ourselves with other people asking ourselves, “What do I have in common with this person?”. Who we compare ourselves with is key to how we see ourselves.

The social comparison model includes two types of comparisons: upward social comparison and downward social comparison. Upward social comparison is when people compare themselves with others who they assume are better than they are. These comparisons often lead to attempts to be more like that person¹³.

For example, you work out three times a week and you compare yourself with a woman who works out every day. You forget about all women who work out once a week or don’t work out at all.

In contrast, downward social comparison occurs when people compare themselves with others who they believe to be in lower positions than they are, or who are less proficient or inferior¹⁴.

When women compare themselves with other women on social media, upward social comparisons are more common because the imagery on these platforms shows unrealistic standards of body size and beauty¹⁵. What’s more, a woman who is dissatisfied with her body is also much more inclined to compare it with other women’s bodies¹⁶.

Upward social comparisons often result in harmful body image constructs. However, if you manage the upward comparisons adequately (because you realize that what you see is mostly unreal) and you properly process your feelings of body image dissatisfaction, you won’t be affected by the images.

If you can’t manage these feelings, the upward comparison can impact your psychological and physical well-being negatively and lead to eating-disordered behavior in the long run¹⁷.

Unreal reality

Perhaps you know that what you see on social media—from posts by alls kinds of influencers to photos of ordinary women—is highly modified. In fact, it is a distortion of how women look in reality.

The problem, however, is that seeing such imagery of “perfect” bodies repeatedly is a subtle form of brainwashing. You internalize the seemingly perfect bodies as representations of reality and you shift your understanding of what is a valid point for comparison.

No wonder next time you look in the mirror and see a bloated belly, cellulite, stretch marks, wrinkles, and spots that are a natural part of a woman’s body, you might grunt because you don’t look like the distortions on social media that you have internalized as normal.

Some time ago, an acquaintance of mine enlightened me about the existence of body editing apps. She told me she used such an app before she posted a photo of herself online.

When I asked her, “Why, for God’s sake, why do you do that?,” she said, “Everyone does it.”

Typing “body editing apps” in my browser search bar and clicking on the results unveiled a grotesque online world. Scrolling through the tons of apps in dismay, I found out that anyone can metamorphose into a Barbie clone in seconds.

“Whether you want to slim your arms or legs, make your breasts bigger, reshape your waist, remove skin marks, stretch marks, and scars, whiten your teeth, lengthen your legs, or add abs, this app will make it happen.”

“You can perfect yourself in any way you want.”

I sincerely hope that next time you are scrolling on social media, entranced by the “perfectness” of the women’s bodies you see, you will remind yourself that what you see is unreal, distorted, and absurd.

Learning to accept, appreciate, and love your body

You can stop being at war with your body and make peace with it. You can unlearn abandoning, punishing, and shaming your body and learn to love and take care of it instead.

Body acceptance, appreciation, and love don’t involve any narcissistic elements. Don’t confuse them with vanity. It is about feeling comfortable in your body and rejecting to conform to societal ideals and comparisons based on appearance.

Appreciate all your body can do

What is the purpose of your body?

Focus on everything your body can do rather than how it looks. Celebrate all amazing things your body does for you: breathing, moving, feeling pleasure. Make a list with things you are able to do thanks to your body. Read this list often.

For example, I tell myself every day:

• I am grateful for my body because thanks to it I can breathe.

• I am grateful for my body because thanks to it I can digest food.

• I am grateful for my body because thanks to it I can walk, run, cycle, and practice yoga.

• I am grateful for my body because thanks to it I can hug and kiss my loved ones.

• I am grateful for my body because thanks to it I can feel pleasure.

• I am grateful for my body because thanks to it I can feel all kinds of sensations: smell the scents in nature and taste delicious food.

Reconnect with your body

Stop focusing on what your body should look like and instead focus on how your body is feeling now.

How often are you aware of what is happening inside your body?

How often do you feel the sensations of love, hurt, anxiety, anger, or craving in your body?

Learn to stay present in you body, observing all sensations inside it without judgment.

Reflect on the following questions:

• Are there common places in your body where you hold stress: for example, shoulders, neck, back, groin?

• What brings joy in your body?

• Can you distinguish between emotional versus physical hunger cues in your body?

• What changes do you notice and feel when you bring mindful attention to your body?

Write a letter to your body

This is a short excerpt from a letter I wrote to my body:

“Dear body, I am sorry for all the times I skipped a meal, suppressed my hunger, and overtrained to exhaustion. I am sorry for all the times I neglected you, punished you, or disliked you. I hadn’t realized how many functions you perform for me every single second of my life. Thank you for carrying me through life.”

Take a sheet of paper and a pen or your laptop and pour out everything you want to tell your body. Be brave and honest: no one is going to read what you have written, this is your personal letter to your body.

Exercise for fun!

Don’t exercise to get a flat belly or slimmer legs. Exercise to be healthy and to be able to enjoy life: to feel more energised, to get a positive distraction from problems and negative thoughts, to socialise and meet new people, and to release stress.

Choose a sport or workout that you enjoy doing and gives your energy: contemporary dancing, ballet, zumba, boxing, yoga, running, swimming, cycling. There are hundreds options, pick one and have fun! If you find it difficult because of lack of discipline or motivation, pair up with a friend or join a sporting group. Get on the treadmill at home or sign up for an online yoga or HIIT class if you don’t want to take up a sport or go to the gym.

Change your mindset about eating

If you have spent years eating mindlessly, being on restrictive diets, or bingeing, nourishing your body can feel unnatural. It helps if you start shifting your mindset.

Eating isn’t a threat to achieving the “perfect body”.

Eating is pleasure and fun.

Eating healthy and nourishing food gives you energy and enables you to do what you want to do.

Eating—and cooking—can be fun as long as you want it!

• Try a new recipe: play some music and dance while cooking.

• Try a new fruit or a vegetable each week. Pick up something new from the market and explore the unknown.

• There are hundreds of exotic and lesser known spices and herbs that will make your taste buds thank you for trying them.

Look at yourself naked in the mirror

Get naked in front of the mirror and gaze at your naked body for a few minutes every day. Then write down what you love about your body. It might feel intimidating and uncomfortable at first. Perhaps you can’t accept your body for what it is. Perhaps you find it hard even to look in the mirror.

But sit through the discomfort. Let yourself be vulnerable. Embrace everything you consider an imperfection or a flaw: this is all part of you. The more you look at your naked body in the mirror, the easier it will be to connect with your true self.

Use social media for motivation

Who are you following on social media: close friends and family or a laundry list of influencers and celebrities?

Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about your body and follow people whose bodies look attainable, who promote being healthy and confident, and who inspire you to stay on track with your exercising goals.

I have unfollowed all runners and yogis on Instagram who, I realized at some point, post predominantly objectifying photos of their bodies. I follow only two sports influencers who are sources of inspiration for me: @Kristinamatskevich and the running legend @kipchogeeliud. Kristina is natural and posts amazing yoga flows that motivate me to try new yoga poses, and Eliud Kipchoge is, well, he is Eliud Kipchoge, his name speaks for itself 🙂 .

I hope my tips have shed some light on why learning to accept, appreciate, and love your body will change your life and how to do it. What are your practices of connecting with and loving your body? I am curious, let me know in the comments.

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Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. The opinions and advice I share in this article are based on my personal experience and the research I have referenced below. If you feel you might be on the borderline of an eating disorder, reach out to a licensed medical professional, for example, your GP or a mental health professional.

Note: In this article, I focus on women’s bodies and eating disorders in women. By not including statistics about men, I am not implying that men don’t suffer from eating disorders.

Featured image: Velizar Ivanov.

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Sources

1. Center for Discovery, Eating Disorder Treatment.

2. Galmiche, M., Déchelotte, P., Lambert, G., Tavolacci, M. P. (2019). Prevalence of eating disorders over the 2000–2018 period: a systematic literature review.

3. Arcelus, Jon et al. “Mortality rates in patients with anorexia nervosa and other eating disorders. A meta-analysis of 36 studies.” Archives of general psychiatry 68,7 (2011): 724-31. 

4. Eating disorders: the situation in the European Union (2021).

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6. Timko, C. A., Juarascio, A. S., Martin, L. M., Faherty, A., & Kalodner, C. (2014). Body image avoidance: An under-explored yet important factor in the relationship between body image dissatisfaction and disordered eating. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 3(3), 203-211.

7. Caddel, M. (2018). The effects of social media on body image constructs among active women.

8. Sidani, J. E., Shensa, A., Hoffman, B., Hanmer, J., & Primack, B. A. (2016). The association between social media use and eating concerns among US young adults. Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.

9, 16. Jiotsa, B., Naccache, B., Duval, M., Rocher, B., Grall-Bronnec, M. (2021). Social media use and body image disorders: association between frequency of comparing one’s own physical appearance to that of people being followed on social media and body dissatisfaction and drive for thinness.

10. Knobloch-Westerwick, S. (2015). Thinspiration: Self-improvement versus self-evaluation social comparisons with thin-ideal media portrayals. 

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