To freelance or not to freelance? 7 years, 7 lessons

Living the dream as a free-spirited freelancer, writing from trendy coffee shops with just a laptop and latte, choosing projects aligned with my passions, and steering my schedule—blissful, right? Yet, this is just a mirage in the freelancing desert.

Since July 7th 2017, when I registered as a freelancer in the Netherlands, I have gulped many bitter pills that crushed the glamorous facade of freelancing. In honor of my seventh freelance-iversary, I am spelling out my seven most important lessons from the ebbs and flows of my freelance evolution. If you are considering freelancing, have just started out, or have been doing it for years and want to get unstuck from unhealthy habits, I hope my insights provide direction, inspiration, and encouragement.

1. Health before hustle

If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be: take care of your mental and physical health before striving to develop professionally.

Putting in 60 hours a week to become successful? Been there, done that. It didn’t make me either a six-figure freelancer or a bestselling novelist. I burned the candle at both ends (I have shared more about the experience here and here). At that point, I became averse to the hustle culture glamorizing excessive work.

I know some people would tell me I would never be successful unless I work hard (read, all the time), and I won’t argue with them: it is a matter of perspective. I define success by the purpose, fulfillment, and joy I draw from my work, not by the commas in my bank account or the number of my LinkedIn followers.

Saying I never get caught in the I-am-not-doing-enough state would be a lie. What has changed, however, is the way I escape its grasp. Earlier, I would work myself to the point of exhaustion. Now, I pause and unwind (I know it sounds counterproductive, but it has been a life savior): I take a stroll, meditate, whip up a wholesome meal, journal, take a power yoga class, or go for a run.

And when someone tells me I am lucky, and they have no time to pause, I say, “If you can spend 30 minutes on social media or TV shows, you can carve out time for self-care.”

“When we are stressed, we are trying to get things done: our mind fixates and speeds up, and our body tightens. We get into a chronic sense of having to do something. Pause and see what happens, find what is underneath this impulse to do.” Meditation by Tara Brach.

2. Boundaries for balance

Caring for my health wouldn’t be achievable without setting boundaries. It is like drawing lines on a map—it defines where my professional responsibilities end and my personal well-being begins. For years, I worked on Saturdays and Sundays as well as into the evenings, believing that I had to be doing more for my clients, I had to be creating more content for my marketing, I had to be looking for more projects, I had to be building more connections.

Until one day it dawned on me: what was the point of quitting my job not to serve a boss only to give the reins to a harsher, stricter, and more unyielding boss: me?

I got into freelancing for the flexibility and ended up stuck with an even more rigid schedule. I wanted my freedom back.

Since the start of this year, I have shortened my work week. I dedicate Fridays to writing fiction, reading professional development resources, cooking, running, or going for long walks. So when my work week begins on Monday, I feel refreshed (rather than full of resentment). I am more focused. More energized. More satisfied. And this is what matters to me now. I might want different things in a few years, but for now, I have found inner peace in what I do for a living—and how much of it I want.

3. There is no chemistry between us

I have had the pleasure of working with fantastic people from whom I have learned a lot and others—from whom I have learned a lot, too. That rich experience has helped me set clear boundaries on the sort of people I don’t want to be working with for the sake of my well-being (even though my bank account might argue about that). If a client is keeping me up at night, they have to go. It is hard, especially if struggling to find work, but investing time to find a replacement for this work lifts a gigantic mental load.

Now I am careful during an initial conversation and filter how people describe a project, what questions they ask, and whether they are respectful of my time (as I am with theirs). I don’t see it as a one-sided relationship where I need to prove I am the right person so that they pick me. It is a discovery process of whether we are a good match in terms of communication and work styles, values, and vision. So, goodbye:

• clients who delay payments for 4+ months, despite having received the completed work;

• clients who throw do-this-by-tomorrow-morning requests at me;

• clients who add new tasks to the original agreement without additional remuneration;

• dismissive clients who don’t offer constructive feedback or even a “Thank you” for the finished work.

4. Rejection is your direction

No one cares about the services I offer. People care about how I can solve their problems and contribute to their success—and it is my responsibility to show it to them. I often see aspiring freelance writers making this mistake, waiting for clients to find them: waiting will get you nowhere, taking action will.

To succeed, you need to become a best friend with rejection. See it as your compass: each No points you away from a path that might not be right for you and steers you towards a direction more aligned with your strengths, guiding you towards your north. Every time someone doesn’t respond to my pitch or turns me down, it stings—just recently, I had set my heart on a mental health-related project (even though I was overqualified for it), and I got rejected.

Thankfully, I have grown a thick skin, so I move on. But before I dust myself off, I do some inner work. What can I learn from this experience? What can I improve?

Success isn’t getting a Yes the first time. Success is not giving up when you get a No.

5. Mindset makeover

I believe developing a growth mindset is half the work of becoming a successful freelance writer. For years, everything I did (selling, writing, and consulting) came from my scarcity mindset. Limiting beliefs kept me in an inertia, grounded in self-doubt. I was grossly underselling myself as I feared I wouldn’t find clients unless I was on the lower end of the price range. Eventually, I created a lot of value for next to nothing.

Understanding my psyche gave room for my strengths to emerge: I not only became more understanding and thoughtful of the people I worked with but also learned to quickly adapt to changing circumstances (hi, generative AI). I was in the right headspace to forge new paths: I published my first ebook Success with AI Content, finished a novel and a collection of short stories and am considering a new business idea, which I hope to reveal to you soon.

Transitioning from a scarcity mindset to a growth mindset was a parallel with evolving from a person who couldn’t run more than 5km. to an ultra-marathon runner (I am proud to have run my first 50km. trail in 2023 🙂). I broke free from my mental barriers, which allowed me to take risks, extending my opportunities and portfolio.

• I am not good enough to charge higher rates or compete with more experienced writers. —> My qualifications speak for themselves, and I can show my value to clients who prioritize quality and expertise.

• I can’t take on this project. I don’t know enough about the topic to write confidently.—> I am excited to take on this project because it is a great opportunity to expand my knowledge.

• Each time I submit my work, I worry that the client will think I am not qualified. —> Each time I submit my work, I know it is a chance to filter constructive feedback and become even better at my skills.

• I can’t promote myself because everyone will think I am too pushy. —> By making myself visible, I show what I can to help companies grow.

6. Money spent on the brain is never spent in vain

Freelancing means living in a praise-free environment with no regular boost of validation from colleagues and managers, which can be demotivating for some. On top of that, being on your own—and not part of a group—makes it easy to fall behind on the latest industry trends, tools, and best practices if you don’t actively seek them out.

For me, continuous learning has become a source of professional validation and personal fulfillment. As my mission is to help businesses attract more clients through valuable content, quality is non-negotiable in my work. That extends to continually upgrading my knowledge and skill set. At the start of the year, I completed comprehensive copywriting training, learning advanced techniques in persuasion, audience analysis, and targeting. Building on this foundation, I am currently dissecting marketing psychology.

It is tempting to think that once you have built a client base and have a steady stream of assignments, you have made it. Growth lies in consistently pursuing new knowledge and skills, and in never resting on your laurels.

7. Peace amidst storms

Good things come to those who wait, I keep telling myself this whenever I am dealing with a last-minute project cancelation, facing a gap in work, or managing project delays beyond my control. In those moments of uncertainty, I remind myself that there is light at the end of the tunnel: I only need patience to reach it.

Patience is about accepting things as they are, from a Buddhist perspective. Just as plants wait for the right conditions to bloom, and animals wait patiently for prey, people must accept and adapt to the rhythms of their professional and personal lives.

Whether it is waiting for a new freelance opportunity to arise, a creative idea to strike, or a challenging period to pass, patience is trusting that everything unfolds in its own time.

Building a solid freelance business takes time and requires accepting fluctuations in workload and income. Patience keeps me aligned with my long-term goals despite setbacks. Yes, there are thousands of freelancers who claim to have skyrocketed to €300,000 in mere months, presenting their success as an easily replicable formula. But I have learned to tune out those tales and focus on my journey: instead of measuring my success against others, I compare my progress today with my progress yesterday.

Remind yourself of the ups when you are in the downs: every period of waiting is an opportunity for reflection and growth.

Conclusion

One certain thing about freelancing is that it is full of uncertainties, and it is the lessons I learn every day that help me navigate the chaos. I wouldn’t be able to do that if my health was in a precarious state—without a strong foundation, everything else crumbles. Setting better boundaries, steering clear of toxic people, embracing a growth mindset, taking action, and committing to lifelong learning keep me ahead, while cultivating patience helps me weather the inevitable ups and downs.

I know everyone’s freelance journey is different, so what works for me might not work for you. What helps you thrive as a freelancer? Share your experiences in a comment or email: let’s learn from one another!

Don’t miss my other freelancing tips for aspiring freelance writers.

Featured image: Hassan Pasha.